Google My A$$!

I was looking at something on a cigar site and the question was raised as to who invented the Excalibur brand and the answer that Google gave the poster was Dan Blumenthal and the Hoyo de Monterrey Team. So, apparently Google doesn’t know shit about any subject, it just copies stuff someone has written!

SO… listen up Google, COPY THIS: Lew Rothman invented the Hoyo Excalibur Brand. I designed everything about it, I trademarked it, and because Frank Llaneza and Dan Blumenthal of Villazon were my close friends I eventually traded them the Excalibur brand after I popularized it for just a ONE DOLLAR!

(I guess I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that I also got the rights to the El Rey del Mundo and Belinda brands in the deal.)

Here’s how it all happened… I was on a plane heading down to Tampa to see Frank Llaneza at the Villazon Factory (the former Garci Vega Factory) and I was reading one of those magazines that used to get stuffed into the seat backs before they invented the computer screens that they have on planes now… and there was a full-page ad for a new Pentel Pen called The Excalibur—and I thought: Hey! That’s a cool name for a cigar brand!

Well, when I got to Frank’s office, he was in the middle of a call about buying broken Connecticut wrappers and a huge crop of off-color Connecticut wrapper that was just too light in color for any of Villazon’s’ regular brands. BUT… it was being offered at a fantastic price that was damned near impossible to turn down.

Frank though he could get rid of some of the light Connecticut by making a new version of Punch which he was going to call Rare Corojo, which I vaguely recall had something to do with a specific farm back in Cuba, but I had an idea that I could maybe use the whole crop.

So, I proposed the following deal to Frank, which he readily took: I’m going to make a new brand and I will pay you guys exactly the same amount I now pay you for the Hoyo Corona, Governor, Double Corona, President, and Executives. And so, you will have absolutely no cast of sales because everything you make for me will already be sold. However, you will do the following for me at no extra charge: a) I want the brand packed in full cedar hinged boxes, b) I want them packed in boxes of 20 instead of 25 (this was a groundbreaking event as no one did this before and many people buying the brand actually did not realize they were getting 20 cigars instead of 25… okay, so call me a crook) c) I want the cigars double banded (this was also new).

This was a great deal and a great moneymaker for Villazon and it allowed Frank to get what I recall was three containers of broken Connecticut wrappers for damned near next to nothing.

Frank asked me what I wanted to call the brand and I whipped out the Pentel Pen Ad that I tore out of the magazine on the plane… EXCALIBUR!  And, I said, just mark the Sizes with Roman Numerals I, II, III, IV, and V!

So now I was gonna have this new double banded Hoyo de Monterrey in a Solid Cedar box that looked like a giant step up from the regular Hoyo brand, and because there were only 20 cigars in the box, instead of 25, a box of the Hoyo Double Coronas and a box of the higher individually priced Excalibur II (same size as the double corona) now sold for about the same price per box!!!!

Everybody started trading up to Excalibur and with a couple of years it became the largest selling Honduran import… bigger than Hoyo… bigger than Punch.

So, up your google, Google.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Smoke Inn, its employees, or its affiliates.